Monday, November 30, 2009

couple, trouble?

i have visited lieya's blog
lieya is a very good friend of mine
she is a love-struck girl, very loyal and sweet girl
relationship problems stuck in her mind
i know she can go through it no matter how tough is it
she is strong, and even courageous

while sharing problems with her yesterday
i did some flash back into my previous relationships with ex-s
i used to live in fear but not always
sometimes tears was my company for few nights
i found it very difficult to go on each day of my life
i had even thought of giving up everything and begin a new journey
but i had failed for times and times
it has now become my experiences
priceless and precious
i have learned that if it's not belong to you then you have to put it down
you will suffer and succumb in countless nightmares if you possess it forcefully
once you feel the slight tremors then think of a better way or GIVE UP
don't ever cry when the massive earthquake happens

people say 'couple, trouble. single, simple'
i don't really agree with this
the happiness you get from your love one is totally different from family, friends and colleagues
it's extraordinary, unique
every second you are with your dear one is fabulous
it's the moment of treasure.

everything depends on you and it's in your hands.

Friday, November 27, 2009

pavilion + movie + happy family

i had a great day with my dearest family on 27 Nov
we went for window shopping in Pavilion
and also for a movie- 2012
fantastic movie
i like the main actor- Jackson
anyway i am having flu and cough
it was not so pleasant for me
i hope i didn't spread the viruses
i was not wearing a mask
forgive me people =.=
i am not going to say much
as the photos speak up million of words

i my

my papa n mama <3
barbies in varies costumes

all of sudden
imy, very much
i shouldn't and i know i have no right to do so
the feeling of missing holds my breath
you know, it sucks
i really have to say goodbye to you, to the past
i will be alright soon, hopefully.
wish me luck, dudes :P

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

break the record

i break the record
not the Guinness world record
i, kohana, wake up extremely early at 8.04am today.
yes. 8.04am.
it is the earliest so far
for your info, i used to be awoken from my dreamland
at about 2-3pm.
oh my gosh, i have tried not to be like this
i want to sleep as early as possible
but i couldn't!
my eyelids will only get heavy by 3am
and that's the moment i meet Mr. Dream
he always blame for not entering dreams at the right time
i am always late
he says i am not punctual as the others do
what to do
my life schedule has changed totally, 360 degrees
three meals become two meals
which are break-lunch and dinner
it's not bad, too, for diet
anyway it's intense weird today
very ridiculous, illogically
very absurd!
i slept at 3am but wake up at 8am.?
i am now feeling fresh
and even energetic
anyhow i am now great
not a gigantic problem for me.

Friday, November 20, 2009

like i care

who are you to ask me out?
i have never seen you
i don't know you.
i am frustrated and getting fade up
like i care about you
you are nothing to me
you worth not even one single cent
you are irritating, annoying
stop talking nonsense
i am feeling averse to you
you are abhorrent
you are 19 but behaving like a 9 years old child
don't you feel ashamed?
be mature, dude
don't embarrass people around you
you are not young
you are an adult
you are jealous? what for?
you are such a nuisance
sorry to say.
but in fact you are really a rubbish.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

photos speak up thousands of words

birthday girl cutting cake

birthday girl making wish
eat eat eat

painting mural in school

Tanjung Dawai, Kedah

snapping photos in hotel

on the way to Ipoh

Ipoh famous dishes
white coffee

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

: )

i have just bought USB cable for my phone
so i can now upload photos
i will try to make it as soon as possible tomorrow


hey my number of visitors has increased gradually
kinda happy and it's marvelous !

my friends and i talked about parents on the other day
the topic just came across our minds
all of us agreed that we will definitely choose parents
if we had to make a choice between parents and boy friends
but how if the choices given were only parents and husband
i know it's not a suitable question for 15-year-old teenage girls like us to think about
who knows that we gonna face it in the future

as for me
i will leave it to the God
i believe that He will decide for me
parents are always my priority
my number one
there is no replacement for parents
papa thought me maths when i was still learning 12 +27
i am now able to solve 12 x 27 = a + 67
papa bought me nice clothes whenever i need them
papa bought me tonnes of exercise books
i hated it but i knew it was for my own good.

mama wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for me
she knows i will faint if i don't eat
she will never miss our breakfast especially during exams week
mama bought me mobile phone when i was just standard 4
she purchased a new one when i got 7 As for my UPSR
mam loves me and i know it very well
even though she doesn't always express her love.

papa mama often look for my future
they are frugal to give me the best education since i was born
i owe them too much
countless and uncountable like stars in the sky

parents or husband?
once you're married husband will obviously be part of your life
i love my parents but i can't leave the dear one
anyhow, i just hope and pray i wouldn't have to make such difficult and uneasy decision
it's extremely hard to have a solution
but i get the conclusion
parents are my life
parents are my everything
i cannot continue my survival without one of them
but i have to.
because it is life's challenge
birth, aging, sickness and death
that's the processes of life.
accept it for what it is.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


psychos went macD to celebrate thineswary's birthday
like usual
i was sleepy in the school
and like usual
i slept in bilik kesihatan
thanked god there was a bed
i slept comfortably
it was the place where we did mural
it's now lively with colorful drawings
looks 'alive' and nice
today was weird
time was passing very slow
maybe because today is the last day of school for us
our holidays start
but actually mine started right after Pmr
i had skipped school for countless days
pn lamizah used to say
' suk hui ni seminggu datang sekali'
sometimes i skipped for one week my dear teacher
such a good student
hey i want to talk about MacD
i went back early alone
tinna refused to follow
i had to go back early to get ready
then about 2 pm
my mom fetched tinna and we headed towards macD
we reached there first
hashvin and the others were in the second car
we were waiting
at the same time
we were starving
where were these girls ?!!
we managed to control our hunger
and at last
in the end
at the last minute
then they went and bought set meals
and evidently
we ate
we snapped photos
birthday girl, thineswary cut cake
it was going to rain
so we left.

the moment we spend together is the moment of treasure.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


water is the most common commodity in our daily life
but it is also the most unique living substance.
water is the spiritual source and it's even sacred.
the pure liquid is God-made.
it is extraordinary.
it is an ongoing source of peace and inspiration
our life is centered around lakes, oceans, spring and rivers
we have to cross and reach the bay no matter how hard is it.
water is something marvelous and magical
our body cell consists of nucleus, cell membrane and cytoplasm
which plays an vital role in storing water
water makes us feel alive
we are dead without water
water is humble but essential substance that permeates every aspect of our lives
water is an element of inestimable value
water is all around us
the tiny drops of morning dew
the thundering cascade of tropical waterfall
the tears we shed
the summer rain we embrace
if you have respect for religious
then water will be sacred.


i didn't update my blog for few days
i went to Ipoh, Perak and Kedah
with my family.
i will upload some photos soon.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


thanks to those who are following my blog.
thank you so much.
really appreciate it.

you know what
most of the things that happen around us
are just so unpredictable.
cannot be judged at all
some are even incredible
in the previous seconds
the sun is hanging up the sky
shining brightly
like showing its amiable smile
giving charm to the busy people
then in the next moment
the remarkable shine has gone
gone far away
lightning flash fitfully and thunder comes to ears
it starts to rain.
people blaming the weather and finding shelter.
it does happen.
and it is unpredictable.

well, i fight with friends today
fight through messaging
seriously i am angry
flames burning
anger spread across my face
i just want to protect my bestie
but you think that i am wearing mask
showing two kind of different faces to you guys
what do you mean by telling me 'talam dua muka'
you are my close friend
so i try to control myself not to call you
whore, prostitute, scum
and other bad words
i cannot do it.
i cannot insult you
i cannot see you leaving us
but i am not brave enough to tell you,
"please don't quit psycho starz and leave me"

i know all these started because of small matter.
it's now a big trouble.
never think of fighting among us.
you are actually not supposed to be involved.
you are the victim
you are innocent
sorry for everything.

Monday, November 9, 2009


i am composing two posts today
for the sake of birthday girl
Hashvinderjit Kaur
well, once i had reached school
first thing i did was to wish her
happy birthday
she was with her hubby
they were just so sweet
like chocolate, haha
we celebrated her birthday
her hubby bought her black forest cake
and gave her 'surprise' and 'present'
invisible 'present' , haha
but i couldn't bring phone or camera to school
so these sweet memories cannot be recorded
how sad
anyway we enjoyed!
we did mural
actually only tinna, mages and i did
others were chit-chatting about
sex, future, marriage, dance, dramas, giving birth,
this and that.
girls are really girls
like to gossip
but i was concentrating on my work
i was keeping quiet and listening to their nonsense gossips
again, time flied.
it was going back time
we cleaned the room
and went back.

p/s: mages was moody. must ask her why.


yesterday night i went online and chatted with friends
then i signed out for no good reasons
i started reading novel
a Chinese novel- The Wind of Destiny
yea. love story.
that's what girls read at their teen age
i stopped reading at 3 am
but messaging a friend, a guy
we were chatting till about 4 am
i felt sleepy
eye lids getting heavier
lacking of oxygen
heart beating faster than usual
i knew it's the time for me to go for sweet dreams
or beautiful nightmare
i turned off my phone
and slept.
i was kinda weird
i knew that i needed sleep
but i was thinking so much of things.
once again the silly me was being hurt by the unforgettable past memories
it hurt so much
at last i ended up sleeping at 4.30 am
then i was awoken by my phone alarm
i was like...
i had just slept for a few minutes, for a while
time really flied!
on the light and glanced at the wall clock
6.45 am
'die, i am late, seriously late'
rushed to the bathroom
and the routine began
washing hair, drying hair, moisturizing hair, combing hair
and lastly tying hair
i hate the last procedure
and that's one of the reasons why i hate going school
finally i had 'successfully' left my house and heading to school
on the way.
i realized that my comb and money were not in my pockets.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

life's movie

sleepless due to endless nightmares
memories of the past flood into mind
countless scenes of sweet and bitter memories
all came and played in mind, out of sudden
sadness covering all the happiness
tear streaming down on the unlined face
cheeks turn into white pale
horror and fear
controlling the thought
slowly becoming depressed, helpless, hopeless
she missed him.
but seriously she could do nothing
everything is fated
nothing can be done or be changed
she had to try to accept the truth, the fact
even though her weak and fragile heart
might not be able to do so.
all she could do is to forget
time would be her best medicine
memory of past would be faded away
and slowly disappeared.
believe me,
she will live with dignity as a new SHE.

thank you.

Friday, November 6, 2009

7 Nov

7 Nov. Saturday

i am not going out today neither with family nor friends
lieya asked me out to mid valley
i turn down as i have my personal reasons
they must be having fun right now
don't think that my papa will bring us out today
he is sick. =(
he is very weak too.
so i spend my weekends at home.
nowadays i am being so passive
i am not even going for the school trip on Monday
i find it boring, not interesting
not fantastic
not exciting
all my friends will be going
yea psycho starz going.
except me.
so sorry
i will miss the moment which we can spend together
it's gonna rain.
after a heavy downpour
hope everything will fade away

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


lying down on grassy ground
gazing up at the innocent-blue sky
all alone.
birds flying in pairs
sun drawing close near the valley
sunset of dark purple and blood red appears
darkness covering the earth
stars start blinking and twinkling
moon gives out light
and a flicker of hope
even thought it is imperfect
people rushing and racing
with the time
never realized how beautiful
is the sky
memories carrying me
life's movie playing in mind
eyes are closed
while the sun sleeps.

Monday, November 2, 2009

muah !

i met her.
we had lunch in cafe.
i had my haircut in saloon.

the moment we have spent together
will always be in my mind.
it will never fade
until the end of my life.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

you'll be there

people making noise everywhere
seeing couples here and there
get up early going school everyday
just to hope that you'll be there.


no doubt that i do have many friends
and of course, best friends.
or i prefer calling besties
having a trustworthy, loyal and understanding bestie
is always my pleasure
yes i have many besties whom i can count on
there are many.
they will always be there when i need them the most
they are good and even the best.
they see me cry and lend me shoulders
they will be the audience and give me advice
they give me hope and support
they are willing to share my happiness and also my sadness
they cure my broken heart
they lift my feet when i have trouble remembering how to fly.

i love my besties
i appreciate their presence in my life
i just can't live without best friends.

A true friend overlooks your failure and tolerates your success
A good friend is like a star, you don't always see them but you know they are there for you.
A best friend brings out the best in our life time.
A bestie is like diamond, precious and rare.
A bestie is hard to find but lucky to have.

Do tell your best friends that you love them before you lose the chance
i love you my best friends. <3

anyway i feel hurt for my bestie.
i tell u my everything, my problems
yes u did advice me, comfort me.
but do u know that i feel empty and lonely
even though you are just beside me.
i told you what's my feeling.
we tried to solve our problems
but nothing works.
it is still the same.

you are still my bestie
that's for sure.
it's just that i don't know how long it will last.
how long our friendship will last.